Fancy a job, fellow journalists, or other ‘big-hitters in the world of communications?’ If so I can direct you. In fact, I am informed, ‘there could not be a more exciting place to work.’ You will have to be someone special though. ‘A good operator,’ to be precise, ‘with a proven record in placing positive stories and rebutting bad news.’
Does this sound like something to do with politics? Getting warm. It is indeed the public sector. And, like any part of the public sector, it should be getting on with the job of delivering a public service. Not telling us how good it is and ‘rebutting bad news.’ But this is the job that was advertised last year by NHS London, which as the largest Strategic Health Authority in England with a budget of £11bn, no doubt feels that it can afford to shell out about £80,000 per year to tell us what a great job it is doing.
This advertisement, for a Communications Media Manager, is just one of ten such ridiculous examples mentioned in the ‘Annual Non-Job Report 2007’ published by an estimable donor-funded organisation called The TaxPayers’ Alliance.
Here is another example. Thurrock Council, which should already know perfectly well what inhabitants of the borough require, has decided to ‘ensure that everyone has a voice.’
‘To achieve this,’ it goes on,’ we’re devising a comprehensive engagement strategy – a key element of which will be the development of a robust Community Empowerment Network.’ Making this ‘ambitious and exciting vision a reality,’ – at a salary cost of about £30,000 per year – will be the Community Empowerment Network Programme Manager, a person who ‘will be well organised, highly motivated and will want to make a positive impact on the community.’
I wish I thought that this person, whoever he or she may be, could make one iota of difference to the lives of Thurrockians, but somehow I doubt it. But one thing I do know is that this non-job will either be paid for at the expense of some task that is really worth doing. Or that it will simply add yet more to the council tax bill.
There is plenty to get depressed about in the Non-Job Report. There is the cost. Salaries for this type of job are some 25% above the average private sector wage – and they come with full pension rights as well as all sorts of supplements for travel, for being on call, for working in one region as opposed to another and some mysterious inventions of the public sector such as the Fringe High Cost Area Supplement or the Environmental Allowance.
Best value?
There are the 35 hour working weeks and the long holidays. There is the fact that many of these jobs simply involve monitoring the work of others. As one Borough Councillor candidly admits, ‘A local authority has to hire staff in order that it can comply with the Government’s monitoring and inspection regimes, which are called Best Value and Corporate Performance Assessments. Hence, you get a proliferation of officers with titles like Corporate Performance Manager, Best Value Performance Officer, and so on, whose job is essentially to submit reports to DEFRA and the Audit Commission, monitor an enormous range of targets set by Central Government, and report on these to the Council… In addition, local councils are expected to fulfill the government’s social objectives, like promoting racial or sexual equality, which have very little to do with the core services provided by the council.’
Depressing, too, is the language of these wretched advertisements. Unable perhaps to hide the fatuity and utter head-banging tedium of the jobs, the advertisements resort to craven flattery. Take this for example.
‘Some organizations talk a great talk about ambition. You know it, we know it – and 99% of the time, its all just hype and spin’ (you said it!). ‘Well, this organization means it, and there is a steely determination to up our game, sharpen our performance into a class act, and ruthlessly deliver on whatever we do for our communities – with nothing less than excellence being the benchmark. But to achieve that will take a leader with the confidence and creativity to contribute to, challenge, develop and agree elected politicians’ strategic agenda. Someone to instill a sense of vigour, pace, energy, accountability, personal responsibility and confidence throughout the organization, and total rigour around setting priorities and delivery of outcomes. Wherever you are and whatever your background, you are businesslike and empowering. You are a confident, engaging, inspiring and articulate leader with a sharp intellect. You are a natural entrepreneur – imaginative, driven and capable of taking measured risks. You exude confidence amongst your peers, and will be able to do so at the highest levels of UK government and UK plc. Most of all though, you take decisions, you deliver, you can prove that you’ve delivered before and you can prove without any doubt you can deliver for Newham’.
Quite honestly with qualifications like that this person should be running the world or managing the future of mankind. But lucky old Newham have got him of her for an annual salary of £200,000.
And here is the lead for another job advert, this time from Charnwood Borough Council. ‘It’s easy to be the person who merely points out the shortcomings of the status quo. But what marks you out is your ability to go further, to envision a fundamentally changed future.’
OK. Let me give this a try.
Here is my vision for a fundamentally changed future. It is one in which local government forgets about social engineering and just tries to do the jobs that can only be done by the public sector as efficiently as cheaply as possible. That means keeping the streets clean, making sure that the buses run on time and supplying a decent selection of books on the library shelves. Who knows, this might even keep council tax down.
This article is taken from Tom Bulford’s free daily email Penny Sleuth