There are a million topical things I should be commenting on this week our ongoing failure to save enough for our pensions, the Railtrack saga, the oil price and, of course, the direction of interest rates all over the world. But instead, I am going to talk about how much I hate Lloyds TSB, as it is pretty much the only thing I can really focus on at the moment. For the last three weeks while I’ve been abroad, my cashpoint card has not been working. This didn’t matter that much (my husband seemed to have a pretty full wallet, so I just used that) and I don’t think anyone should have to speak to a call centre when they are on holiday, so I didn¹t call in to complain. On my return, however, I did.
The reason my card didn’t work, I was told, was because I had ordered a new pin number. I hadn’t. It says here, said the ‘customer services representative’ at the other end, that you have. So we blocked your old one and sent you a new one. But you can’t have blocked it, I said, because I can still use it as a chip-and-pin card in shops. No you can’t, he said. Yes I can, I said. You must be somehow using the wrong number in cash machines and the right number in the shops, he suggested. Hmmm. Anyone who has ever tried to resolve a banking problem with a call centre can imagine the rest of the conversation. In the end, I lost my temper and he promised to look into the problems and have someone call me back. No one ever did. On the plus side, when I got home and sorted out the post I did find a new pin number, which I gamely tried out this morning. It didn¹t work either.
The final result of the still utterly incomprehensible affair (it got more complicated later) is that I have had to order both a new credit card and a new debit card. Until they and their new pin numbers arrive, I can’t get any money. Not to worry, said the man in the call centre. Just pop down to your local branch with your passport and they’ll give you some. Local branch?There isn’t one for miles. Passport? I don’t carry my passport with me all the time.
I’ve been a Lloyds customer for 20 years, but by the time you read next week’s letter, I fully intend to be someone else’s customer. All suggestions as to suitable institutions are very welcome. All I ask is that its staff are adequately competent, that its computer systems work and that when something goes wrong and someone says they¹ll sort it out and call me back, they actually do. How hard can it be?