It’s time for the Penny Sleuth Annual Awards ceremony. The venue is glittering. Champagne and a lavish dinner have been served. The good, the bad and the ugly of the penny share world are assembled, and in a tizzy of anticipation.
The prizes are non-existent – but hey! It’s the recognition that counts. So here goes:
The Things Can Not Get Any Worse Award.
This goes to the unfortunate Peter Earl, whose two quoted power generation vehicles Rurelec and IPSA, have run into problems on either side of the South Atlantic. Rurelec’s Bolivian interests were summarily nationalised while IPSA’s plans to alleviate South Africa’s power crisis have run into intransigent opposition from local politicians and the State generator Eskom. Chin up, Peter, things can only get better.
2010 Award for Over-Optimism
This goes to Chris Littlemore of the architectural practice Archial who, in March, said ‘having completed the essential elements of a two year rationalisation plan… Archial is now robustly positioned to move into the next phase of its development and to ride out the current UK economic conditions with a clear strategy for further international growth.’ Six months later administrators were appointed – and the company was later subsumed into a bigger group.
The Making Everybody’s Life a Misery Award
Head and shoulders above the other contenders is the Financial Services Authority. The guardian of the nation’s financial health baffles and irritates all with whom it comes into contact. With its £458m annual budget this is the Nanny of them all!
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The Hope Springs Eternal Vase
This elegant trophy goes to the company that somehow, and in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, manages to convince investors that it has a bright future. As usual the field is strong. But taking the prize after an impressive unbroken ten year run of losses is tyre pressure sensor manufacturer Transense Technologies. ‘The Board looks forward to the future with enthusiasm and confidence,’ says chairman David Kleeman. I wish I could share it….
The ‘You Don’t Have to Look Gorgeous to Work Here But It Helps’ Award.
This is always fiercely contested by the City’s many Public Relations Agencies. As usual these saccharine tongued spinners of the truth have successfully delivered reams of carefully crafted press releases and investor presentation. An important trophy, given for the Best Biscuits Offered to Visiting Journalists, goes Biddicks but the main prize for the ‘You Don’t Have To Look Gorgeous to Work Here, But It Helps’ award goes to St Brides Media.
Finally two serious awards.
The Indiana Jones Prize for Going Where Others Fear to Tread
The winner here is Todd Kozel, Executive Chairman of Gulf Keystone, who bet the ranch on an oil play in Kurdistan and has been rewarded with a massive oil find and a fifteen-fold increase in the share price.
The ‘This Man Deserves a Knighthood’ Award
Without hesitation the judges have unanimously named Dr Andrew Nelson. Dr Nelson is President and Chief Executive of the Cardiff-based IQE, which is one of the world’s leading suppliers of semiconductor wafer products, used for wireless and optoelectronic components, photovoltaics and silicon based epitaxy. He is intensely knowledgeable, has a savvy business brain, and is modest and pleasant as well. IQE is a great little business, and the share price has risen ten-fold over the last two years.
That is all! Well except for the Award for Best Penny Share News Hound. The award goes to… modesty forbids…
Happy NewYear!
• This article was first published in Tom Bulford’s twice-weekly small-cap investment email
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